Myths and Cliches

The truth about Filipina wives and “Asian Wife” myths

Western society has been cursed with feminism. I say “cursed”, because our society has suffered because of it. Marriages have a failure rate of nearly 50%, and that’s a terrible statistic.

Many men decide that the solution is to marry a “docile, asian woman” and head for the Philippines. The have the notion of the “mail order bride” who will do anything for the man who saves her from poverty. Big mistake!

Firstly, “Asia” is a region. It is not a country, and it is certainly not a culture. Europe is a region, but I think most will accept that there are huge differences between the cultures of England, Greece, Spain and Germany. Yet they’re all European. Well, Filipinos are Asian in the same way. Forget everything you’ve read or heard about subservient “mail order brides” (a very ugly term) who are “trained by their mothers to serve men”. It’s a myth. If you think a Filipina will be a cliched silent, docile little lady who will bow and call you “Master”, then may I suggest you look elsewhere? Maybe get a dog or cat instead?

Men and women are different. We’re of equal value and have equal needs of respect, but we’re made differently. Women are generally more emotional, whilst men are more practical. Women generally have a better eye for detail, and can patiently cook the dinner, talk on the phone, feed the baby and write out a shopping list all at the same time. Men generally have cooler heads in crises, and can concentrate on one thing for a long time. We’re physically stronger, and emotionally tougher. We tend to make major decisions better, whilst our wives handle the details better than we can.

Filipinas are generally very feminine. They are generally non-confrontational when treated kindly and with respect. They generally cook well, clean the house well, and take wonderful care of their husbands and kids. And if you’re a good man, ie. kind, loving, faithful, a good provider, devoted family man, and treat them well, most will be prepared to stick by you and treat you with the respect that a good man should have. They are happy being ladies, and are happy that you’re a man. They will generally not want to swap gender roles with you, or to make feminist-inspired anti-male put-downs.

But if you’re lazy, or if you cheat on them, or are a bad parent, or if you’re violent or simply treat them with a lack of kindness, they will lose respect for you very quickly. Don’t expect a docile little wife who will sit around watching her family deteriorate because you’re a bad provider or make bad decisions. If you don’t “wear the trousers”, she will! Someone has to! Respect must be earned and it must be deserved. Don’t think you may act like a tyrant or a Sultan in his palace and get away with it. These are generally strong and very capable women. Don’t be fooled just because they don’t try to act like men.

And in contrast, don’t act like a “metrosexual” style spineless wuss either. Filipinas want to marry a man who is a man. She will be happy to take care of you as a loving and feminine wife does, but expects in turn to be take care-of by a strong man who can protect and support his family. But you must do so with kindness, love, patience, and a sense of justice.

My wife and I have enormous respect for each other, and for each other’s unique talents and abilities. Most of the time we seem to be strong where the other one is weak and in need. I take care of the men-things, and she takes care of the woman-things. She spoils me rotten, and I spoil her rotten. But I don’t put on the apron, nor does she put on the overalls. We’d be lost without each other, and that’s how it should be.

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